Woof my friends! Do you remember me? I’m Vladimir the lottery winner! My humans adopted me from Lithuania and I’m now a resident in a sniffing ground called Finland. My family feeds me well and I have put on 9 kilos since my puppy rescue times! I’m all legs and I can run like the wind. My life is woofing great and I adore my humans. However, I do find them a tad odd sometimes. Here’s a few things my humans do that make me ROFB my butt off.
1.”Jump! — Don’t Jump!”
So which one is it people?! I can leap trough the air and grab a stick like a pro. I can jump over a fallen tree in the woods making gravity look like a joke. I can also run to people and jump to kiss their faces when they enter my house. Have you seen my legs?? I can jump on the kitchen counter with ease, especially if there’s a treat around… Extra motivation! Every other time humans get all excited about me jumping and other times… not so much. Which one is it people?!
2. The Boring Boxes
I don’ know about your peeps but mine spend a lot of time staring at different kinds of boxes. You must know the one attached to their hand? They keep staring at it and tapping it. I think they’re trying to make the box do something cool? Newsflash – the box NEVER does ANYTHING cool. The big box in the sofa room does sometimes show other dogs… but these dogs don’t smell like anything. They just bark. Most of the time this big box has strange people talking to one another. Can you say boring?
3. They Leave The House Without Me
I mean – where do they go?? Everyone is running around the house in the morning time. They eat fast, gather boxes and shove them into their silly baggies. Then they start up the motor wheel boxes. Where do they go? I know they wouldn’t go run in the woods without me. They don’t go out and eat hot dogs – I would smell that sort of a betrayal. Sometimes I wonder if they just walk outside and hide in the bushes for eight hours. Oh poodles – I truly hope they don’t go and meet other doggies without me knowing! That’s it… I’m hiring a private pawestigator.
So don’t worry my furry friends… All humans are weird. Not just yours. They act all crazy and do things that a normal being can’t possibly comprehend. Nevertheless… The good news is that they love you. Like ridiculously a lot.
Woof you soon! — Vladimir xx